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His Philosophy

Fear

In a recent press conference, New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani rattled off some statistics illustrating a drop in crime in the Big Apple since the Trade Center attacks. When a reporter inquired about the relevance of this, Giuliani said that he was trying to get people to stop worrying, because if anything else is going to happen, there's not much anybody can do about it.

Damn straight.

Right now the US is like a cobra caught by surprise, and recoiling in fear before the natural response to strike. Everyone's on edge, biting their fingernails like they're cued for the first time to their part in the tragedy of Real Life. People are dusting off canned goods stored away in bomb shelters before the Y2K hoax. Gun owners are stocking up on ammo. Gas masks are selling like hotcakes. And how many people do you know that would not step foot on a plane if you paid them?

My friend's five-year-old daughter traveled from Pittsburgh to Florida on plane by herself to visit her grandparents. This was before 9/11/01. This is what my friend said about that the other day to me:

"Never again."

Can't blame him for that.

Even in Europe people are out of their minds with fear. All the American bands on European tours were sent home by various governments worried about potential danger to show-goers. I learned this first-hand from my buddy John Dzubeck, guitarist of Leadfoot, who was in Sweden at the time. They did only four shows of what was supposed to be a 30-date tour. The first week was cancelled, because there were no planes operating out of the United States of America. Then they were sent home after four dates by the Swedish government. Even Slayer was sent home. Even if Leadfoot was allowed to stay, Johnny tells me, it would've been impossible. Why? Raging Slab, the headlining band, never stepped foot on a plane to take them across the ocean, out of fear.

Sure, these fears are warranted, but as usual, the news media isn't helping ease the anxiety. Experts and specialists are jabbering on talk shows like Today and Nightline about how easy it would be for a terrorist to launch a biological and/or chemical holocaust, using a rare strain of small pox or anthrax or hijacking a crop duster and napalming a small city (coincidentally, some co-workers are discussing this very subject as I type). Guys on the FAA's (formerly) top-secret Red Team are surfacing left and right, letting you know how easy it was for them to sneak artilleries of guns and bombs onto the aircraft of their choice. The Associated Press keeps reminding us that Osama bin Laden once attempted to buy parts for a nuclear bomb.

When I was home in Pittsburgh last week, I read of a local Pittsburgh TV news story about an evacuation of a University of Pittsburgh campus facility because of a supposed "chemical leak". Here was the real story: a jar of something (chemical never reported) was found in a fridge of some lab at Pitt, and was supposedly dangerous at cold temperatures. It was accidentally left there by somebody, a Pitt student or staffer. Someone panicked and called an evacuation, and the news capitalized on this and the fears of the viewing public by implying a terrorist chemical attack.

What this does is further the cause of the terrorists. The media, especially local TV news, drains terror from the mind of the viewer for ratings. Now, most likely, idiots are walking around Pittsburgh saying, "Did you hear they planted a chemical weapon in Pitt?" Thanks news.

But it is, of course, wartime, when the media is also a tool of government AND business now, rather than simply a tool of business, like it usually is. George Carlin said that the media during the Gulf War acted like unpaid employees of the Department of Defense. Support for war is fueled by fear, so government propaganda, via the news media, should naturally scare us at a time like this. That's pure and wild speculation.

Am I mad at the government for using the news media for propaganda? Naw. I just see it as a necessary function of a successful war. Do I think the government wants us to be afraid? To an extent, but only to the extent that the fear leads to defensive patriotism. We're really afraid enough that the government doesn't need to make propaganda for it. Like this:

DUCK AND COVER!

Fear kept the Cold War going. The Cold War was Fear Itself. The USA and the USSR, playing King of the Mountain with each other, were both so damned scared of slipping into the abyss that they had to keep making nuclear bombs to stay in the game. The American public supported the Cold War by remaining afraid of Communists and Nuclear War. Joe McCarthy was so afraid of a few Commies that he had them executed. Then in the 80s, Sylvester Stallone was so afraid of Commies that he made a movie where a Commie boxer named Ivan Drago killed his friend, then he beat the Commie up.

Imagine being afraid of a system of government with a communal ideology, whereby all resources are used to support everybody, eliminating social class and hierarchy, and poverty and excess. That was the original idea anyway.

I don't think people were so much afraid of communism as much as they were afraid of a bunch of evil guys with bombs that could destroy the world. That's about all they told us about the Soviets during the Cold War.

I must break you.

But it's different now. Soviets may have had huge bombs, and killed Apollo Creed, but none of them were psycho enough to fly a plane into the World Trade Center. This is the real deal.

The Commies are dead and gone and communism is virtually a hopeless ideal, but now we've got terrorists. Middle Eastern terrorists to be specific. Boy, am I glad the IRA didn't have a problem with us and decided to hire a few Harp psychos to destroy American buildings. Some very nervous and afraid guys trying to appear patriotic may have tried to hurt my family and I simply because we are of Irish descent and Catholic to boot.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Not to mention being hit by a plane or napalmed by a crop-duster or anthraxed by bacteria.

Thing is though, life can take you on twists and turns more powerful than a thousand tornadoes, kick you in the ass, and turn your whole world upside down in a matter of seconds, at any given moment, usually when you least expect it. Fear and nervousness and uncertainty only gives you more trouble than you're going to be in anyway. Nervous and fearful people lead very nervous and fearful and uncertain lives, even when nothing is going wrong. When a person is nervous, he tends to move hastily and sweep things under the carpet as fast as possible in order to get back to his comfort zone. That's why we want Osama bin Laden dead, yesterday. We're a very nervous nation.

But the kings are one step ahead. Dubya is passionate, loves the hell out of his country, but brainless. I like the man, he's a good guy, I'd like to party with him, but I wish McCain was president now. Not to worry though, we have Cheny and Powell, who ran the Gulf War. Those are two guys who, in speech, tell me that they carry and can utilize knowledge. Bush mouths great words from scripts, but babbles at press conferences. Powell and Cheny speak articulately from memory, letting me know that they grasp the issues. Those guys are not shaking in their combat boots, but poised and ready to make some great and powerful, careful, intelligent and calculated tactical maneuvers.

So if you can help it, don't be nervous. It makes you look bad.

10/02/2001

Next week: random humor strikes back!